Description
A hilarious and moving memoir—in the spirit of Anne Lamott and Nora Ephron—about a woman who returns home to her close-knit Mennonite family after a personal crisis
Not long after Rhoda Janzen turned forty, her world turned upside down. It was bad enough that her brilliant husband of fifteen years left her for Bob, a guy he met on Gay.com, but that same week a car accident left her with serious injuries. What was a gal to do? Rhoda packed her bags and went home. This wasn’t just any home, though. This was a Mennonite home. While Rhoda had long ventured out on her own spiritual path, the conservative community welcomed her back with open arms and offbeat advice. (Rhoda’s good-natured mother suggested she date her first cousin—he owned a tractor, see.) It is in this safe place that Rhoda can come to terms with her failed marriage; her desire, as a young woman, to leave her sheltered world behind; and the choices that both freed and entrapped her.
Written with wry humor and huge personality—and tackling faith, love, family, and aging—Mennonite in a Little Black Dress is an immensely moving memoir of healing, certain to touch anyone who has ever had to look homeward in order to move ahead.
Reviews
WHEN LEMONS TURN INTO LEMONADE
My expectations for this book? I assumed that this would be an account of returning to one's roots after going out into the real world. Beyond that rather banal description I assumed I'd get special incites into the Mennonite world, including possible rituals and practices with a horse drawn carriage or two thrown in and an account of farm life.
In reality, this is a personal memoir that provides info. about carriages and Mennonite culture with food and recipes thrown in for a bit of flavor. However, at the heart of the matter is this wonderful account of how a series of unfortunate incidents brought the author back home. What I find completely amazing is that when even dealing with really serious or sad issues, Rhoda Janzen does it with such incredible style and humor that I found myself chuckling.
Janzen's writing style is conversational. Her sentences are complex and descriptive, but they flow easily. Best of all, it passed my acid test. Normally if I can't get involved in a book within 20 minutes, that's it. I put it down and don't invest further time or effort.
This book on some level reads like fiction. It's like a really good box of chocolates. I couldn't put it down. I loved the eccentricities of her friends and family. I LOVED THIS BOOK.
Funny, Touching ... but Uneven
Fortysomething Rhoda Janzen hasn't spent extended time with her Mennonite family in 25 years. But when her husband leaves their 15-year-marriage and she's injured in a car accident, she trades the costly sabbatical she'd planned from her midwestern college in favor of a few months back home on the west coast.
Janzen (a very likeable narrator) weaves childhood memories with anecdotes from those months spent visiting her parents (both of whom I loved: Dad is "the Mennonite equivalent of the Pope"; Mom is a pragmatic nurse and eternal optimist); her family and friends; and the Mennonite culture. But deep into the book, the story that finally emerges is her recovery (of self and roots) from her mentally ill husband and their failed marriage.
As a memoir, it's uneven. Some passages, even some words, are laugh-out-loud funny and make me thankful to have read this book. Others seem self-indulgent -- more amusing to the author than a reader -- and continue too long and at the expense of more-relevant material. The writing is likened to poetry, but I can see that only in its lack of transitions, not in language or sense evocation. I often wondered "Where are we?" and "When is this happening?"
Probably, this book was prompted by the pressure to produce something tangible from a sabbatical -- and what's more relevant for a teacher of English and creative writing to produce than a book? As a concept and draft, it's terrific; as a published work, it's okay.
Emotional but Never Sappy, Nostalgic but Rarely Romantic
Despite small rebellions, Rhoda Janzen stayed close to the Mennonite world she was raised in. That is, until she went to graduate school. At that point, too many of her social, philosophical and spiritual ideas were challenged, causing her life to become more secular. But she never severed ties with her family or the Mennonite community, so when crisis struck in the form of a divorce followed by a debilitating car accident, she was welcomed home with open arms. Her memoir, MENNONITE IN A LITTLE BLACK DRESS, centers on that homecoming but also celebrates a religious community more vibrant and diverse than most people realize.
Janzen may have been primed for the secular world unwittingly by her parents, both of whom were college educated (something very unusual for Mennonites). She and her three siblings were sent to public school and were allowed some spiritual and intellectual freedoms by their thoughtful yet conservative parents. Though her parents may have been inwardly disappointed by her choices to become a poet/professor and to marry the emotionally uneven Nick, they wanted her to be happy and were kindhearted when her turbulent marriage fell apart. In her early 40s, Janzen found herself back in her parents' home, enveloped in a life of German folk songs, strudel, borscht, traditional handicrafts and pious religious beliefs.
With biting humor and unflinching honesty, Janzen chronicles her divorce (the verbally abusive Nick left her for Bob from [...]) and shares childhood adventures and misadventures growing up Mennonite. And although it's Janzen's memoir, the star of the book is quite often her mother, Mary. Mary is funny, warm, and much sassier and worldlier than readers would ever expect. Janzen is tender towards her parents and Mennonite "oldsters" in general, nicely balancing out the tale of marital woe and strife.
MENNONITE IN A LITTLE BLACK DRESS moves back and forth in time from Janzen's childhood to her current life. Her relationships with academia, religion, siblings, her ethnic heritage, and more are explored sharply --- and, at times, too briefly --- and with an interesting perspective and voice. Mennonite life (at least Janzen's Mennonite life) is brought into sharp relief, and all the gender inequalities, dogma and expectations are contrasted with moments of touching warmth, hilarity and unconditional love.
From "the top five shame-based foods for Mennonite youth lunches" to living with a bipolar spouse, from the practice of marrying first cousins to the joy of racquetball, MENNONITE IN A LITTLE BLACK DRESS is pleasantly all over the place. Janzen's style is often conversational, and she masterfully turns phrases, finding the humor in pain and sorrow and the sacred in the ordinary.
While sorting through the wreckage of 15 years married to Nick and recovering from the car accident, Janzen is sorting through her relationship to the Mennonite Church. Her memoir is emotional but never sappy, nostalgic but rarely romantic. Janzen is likable, smart, funny and humble. She is unapologetic in her quest to balance out the best of the Mennonite world with the best of the secular world. Readers will be charmed by this quirky, powerful and unique tale of family, acceptance, identity and belief.
--- Reviewed by Sarah Rachel Egelman
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